I’ve never cared much about anything except your happiness. I’ve never felt so enraged at sadness until I had seen it in your eyes. Angering me to the point of shouting, “cut your shit,” as my hand made contact with your rough cheek. I can still feel it on my palm, the stubble that scratched like the thorns of a fierce rose, and the strain in between my eyes from where my brows furrowed in anger. I swear, you will be the reason for my wrinkles, and the cause of years taken off my life, but one day I will look back and think, it was all worth it for I was able to tug at the corners of your lips that eventually formed into a smile. I would find out in later years that I had been the cause of your discomfort, that my irrational harshness was what worried you deeply, and made you unable to sleep at night, while I lay down in a restless nightmare. Two people can love eachother infinitely and purely, but that does not always mean….that they are meant to be. You were a field of daisies, and I was always a blizzard wiping everything out in my path. It was in these moments, in these small milliseconds that I watched sadness leak from your eyes that I realized…
You bring out the worst in me.
Ahhah thank you ☺️
Frolicking through the woods today :]
Here’s my butt <3
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Some days I realize that I’ve become the person I always wanted to become when I was younger. It relieving to know that it wasn’t milestones away, but more of a self awakening that brought me to this point….
It was stepping back and breathing in my life, and filtering out the bullshit.
Sometimes I wake up and wonder how I ever felt the way I did before, how I viewed myself as anyone different, but then I realize that I am now a completely separate person. The old me was toxic, a parasite to my soul and energy…and the new me leaves me feeling euphoric.
Still….I can’t help but wonder if there’s another me awaiting under this one.
Will it be better?
Or will I be awful again?
Had a lovely time in the woods today with my friend allycia. She helped me shoot a potential suicide girls set :x Haven’t decided on if i should submit it or not yet. We’ll see!
It was a brisk morning :x. Ignore the mess that is my side yard ❤️
Have you ever woken up from your own nightmare? The one that you have built around yourself, hollowing out your soul so the foolish insecurities can take place? I’m looking down at my scars, at the burns and “shame,” that lay upon my body, and I am starting to realize I have nothing to be ashamed about. These are not my fault, these were not scars of displacement but of anger, and skin is just skin…..it’s not why people love me. People do not love me because of my beauty, they do not love me because of my appearance, but because of who I am, as a person, and the impact I have had on their lives. I feel silly….wasting as much time as I did being insecure about a nobody.
What better way to spend a sick day than re-reading a childhood favorite, and drinking tea, while link protects zelda from Gannon ❤️
I’m tired of starlight
Because it only ever reminds me of you
and the secrets that we kept
Between moon beams, and stolen kisses.
And I’m beginning to hate the sunlight
With it’s mocking warm embrace
Reminding me that somewhere…
You are happy
And I am miserable without you.
Happy Spring! I quickly wire wrapped some fluorite pieces, and am selling them for $13 each *That includes shipping cost to US, but is $10.00 anywhere else*
Check them out as well as some other cool items at my etsy shop!
Some days are better than others…it’s a motto we’ve all heard, but some of us never really understand it’s true meaning. The better days aren’t referring to the ones where you forget your problems, but more so the days where your problems seem just a little less bad. Today is one of those days…today I feel like I can breathe just a little bit more, and I feel like this earth is a little less crowded. I can count in my head the days since I’ve looked at her, the days since I’ve compared myself to her, and the days she isn’t constantly consuming my thoughts…three. It’s been three days and counting. I find myself focusing on my breathing more, focusing on my own reality and easing into a sense of security. My dreams are becoming more lucid, my subconscious trying so hard to leak the suppressed fear into my awakened state, but unlike before I don’t find myself awaking in screams, in fits of rage that make me unable to fall back asleep, but rather just a small panic attack that lightly starts my heart, and calms as my eyes press against the darkness. I’m beginning to live my life again, and be me again. I can feel myself on the surface of this mask I seemed to have placed over my real face, a mask I created filled with insecurities. It’s starting to crack and bend from the pressure of my true self trying to break through, and the sudden shock of all of this is exciting.
Some days are better than others….
Today was a better day…
Lovely little fairy door, spirit quartz necklace I made accented with a glass mushroom charm from Italy, and a brass colored leaf. Here’s the link to my etsy where you can find all sorts of items crafted by me :] Oh, and the fairy door opens!